I attended a wedding yesterday. It was one of the most romantic weddings I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience. It was a celebration of love between two people who have been dating for seven years. I have been reflecting on it all day today because it was so beautiful and because the couple is very special to me. I am extremely happy for them. But I have also been reflecting on my two past marriages and other relationships. Weddings have a way of stirring up old memories and feelings don’t they?
I am not proud that I have been divorced twice. As I was driving the newlyweds to the airport this morning to catch their plane for their honeymoon, the bride mentioned that she needed to change her name on everything when they return and how much of a hassle it is going to be. I told her it is kind of a pain but at least she’d only have to do it once. Then I remembered that I have changed my legal name three times! I have faith that she will keep her new name for the rest of her life but my response really got me thinking about my own future.
Will I ever change my name again? Will I ever get married again? I have no idea. But God does. And for now I am trusting him with my next love story. I am open to love again, finally. I feel like I am ready again, finally. But this time I am not taking control of this matter. I am going to allow God to be my matchmaker. And I am going to remember that being divorced does NOT make me a failure. It just means I am back on course to finding the one he has planned for me. And until then…
Here’s to the past relationships that didn’t work out. I am not bitter anymore and I have forgiven and let go of the blame and the hurt. The relationships that didn’t work out were LEARNING experiences that only made me STRONGER and led me to figuring out who I am, what I want, what I don’t want, and what I DESERVE.
Here’s to the all of the other single women out there who are still wondering when they are going to find “the one.” Keep believing you are WORTHY of love! No matter how dirty your past looks, you have miracles in store in the future and God is going to blow your mind when he reveals what is coming. Don’t give up…just keep on keepin’ on and keep doing YOU. Focus on becoming your best self and keep the faith that either with the man of your dreams or if you remain single…you have a bright future ahead of you. Be in love with yourself!
And here’s to all the happy couples out there, married, engaged, or recently finding yourselves in love and dreaming of your wedding day. Marriage isn’t easy. It is the most important “job” you will have besides being a parent. But it is so worth it. You learn to give and take and compromise and give 150% sometimes when your partner can only give 10%. You allow your partner to be who they are and don’t criticize them for it. You give them space to grow because we are all works in progress and always evolving into the people we are destined to become. After God, you put each other first, period. You are never emotionally or verbally abusive to each other. And if things escalate to that point, you seek counseling together and you work things out…never pointing fingers and always taking responsibility for your actions or inactions. Choosing your battles…not everything is worth arguing over. Never throwing the past in your partners face. Never going to bed angry. Respecting each other. Praying together. Kissing each other goodnight, good morning, good everything.
You guys who are currently doing all of this right now are the ones who give me hope. You deserve a gold star and a pat on the back because marriage is HARD. And sometimes parts of it is a hassle. Sometimes all of it is a hassle. Sometimes you think you might be better off single again, but you don’t give up. You hang in there for better or worse and you make it beautiful.
Because…married, single, or divorced, life is what you make it.
Stacey ~ iamalive
1 Corinthians 13:13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.