“U is for Umbrella…it really doesn’t matter if you have one with you when the rain starts to patter.”
For some reason I still remember that saying. When I was in kindergarten our class had a program for our parents and each student had a letter of the alphabet plastered across their chest and had to get up on stage one by one and say a cute little saying about each letter. I don’t remember any of the other sayings but I definitely still remember what U stood for! I also remember wearing a cute little blue dress and my hair being in big curls like Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie. My mom enjoyed dressing me up for church and school events (I hated wearing those pink foam rollers at night!). It reminds me of a time long ago when I had no worries in the world.
Kids just want to “grow up” but really they do not know how lucky they are to be so innocent and carefree. With every year of age comes that much more junk that weighs us down. Things happen to us that are beyond our control. We form relationships with friends, significant others, co-workers and even family members only to be left behind or let down. We lose people who are close to us who shouldn’t have left this world yet. We deal with our own health issues as well as caring for our loved ones who become sick. Responsibilities pile up and we get bogged down by the stress of it all and forget how to enjoy life. It seems never ending at times. At least this has been my experience.
Lately I have been dealing with some bitterness from my past that keeps creeping up in my head and stealing my joy. I allow it to happen and I feel guilty about it. I should let go of resentment and bitterness towards people who have hurt me. I know this but it still happens. Feelings of loneliness and worthlessness creep in as well. Would anyone even notice if I disappeared??? What is my purpose??? It gets tiring going out to eat alone. Going to the movies alone. Going to church alone. Watching TV alone. Traveling alone. Going to bed at night ALONE. BUT. All of this alone time gives me time to get to know myself again. To crawl out from underneath all that JUNK that I have been covered with over the years. It gives me time to figure out who I am again. To figure out who I was meant to be before the world told me who I should be. It gives me time to talk to GOD. It gives HIM time to talk to me and to teach me. It is a gift. (Although it is HARD). It has made me so much stronger than I ever imagined I could be. It has given me a new perspective on everything really. It makes me realize that all the negativity and stress did have some kind of purpose. Instead of just muddling through life…I am aware now. I am awake. I am ALIVE. And I am a LIGHT. I am a light to help others see through their own darkness. I carry a lot of guilt still. I know I have expected people that I loved to be a certain way or do things a certain way instead of just letting them be themselves. I expected things in return for the love I gave. I know now that is wrong. When you truly love someone you love them for who they are in that moment without wanting to change them. Without expecting them to do exactly what you want them to do. You just love them, period. You do not say to them…well I did this for you…so you need to do this for me. You instead show them by example. Your actions are the light and the good.
It amazes me almost every week at church the sermon ends up being about what I am going through at that moment. Today the topic was about overcoming darkness and being a light. Goodness ALWAYS defeats darkness. Once you realize that YOU are the light you MUST act on it and guide others. I feel that I am doing that in some ways. The feedback I receive from my inspirational quotes on Twitter is very positive. I received a private message today for example by someone who simply said “I adore your tweets. Don’t ever stop”. My response was do not worry, I can’t stop. I get so much joy from it and I know it is helping others…it is truly a BLESSING and I thank God for choosing me and using me this way. I want to do more and I will when God is ready for me to do so.
Back to “U is for Umbrella”…I actually thought of that one day last week while I was at work. I over heard a co-worker talking on the phone. He was spelling his name out to the person on the other end and his name started with P. He actually said these words “P as in pick up truck.” I giggled and thought, yes he is definitely from my home state of Kentucky! And then “U is for umbrella” popped in my head. (If I am thinking this stuff at work it really makes me wonder what everyone else is thinking about :)) Anyway. We can’t go back to the time when we had no worries in the world like when we were in kindergarten. But we can all be a LIGHT and shine goodness on others to help them see things in a more positive way. If you have it, try using it.
This song that I’m sharing called “Wake Up” is one of my favorites and it was played at church today during worship. I thought it was sooo fitting to share here. (It truly amazes me sometimes how things can all come together and form a thoughtful message). The song is about seeing the hope from God’s healing…HIS light is shining through on us waking us up from our sleep and revealing the light we all have inside of us…to carry out HIS will.
Have a blessed week and be the light!