Reflecting

I have not made an entry here for almost one week.  I have been reflecting a lot about things that I have been going through in my personal life and trying to figure out my next steps.  I have been working out, seeing friends, going to church, enjoying nature and trying to find some peace somehow in this life.  I am learning that I need to jump out of my comfort zone in order to make true changes in my life…right now I am standing still…my engine is idle.  I have so many things to consider…so many options…the world truly is my oyster.

My husband no longer wants to be in my life and I am coming to terms with that.  It has taken a while but I am learning to accept it more everyday.  It takes time.  He was my best friend and my support for 1.5 years and with that suddenly gone I felt lost.  I am finding my way again.  I am healing.  Things happen for a reason and I know God has a plan for me.  I am thankful for that.

My entries will sometimes be personal and sometime not.  I am writing a story about my trip to Japan last month…in particular three special days of it.  I plan to share that soon.  It was a life changing event…although it was something very simple.  I think God spoke to me while I was there and told me to move on…to be happy no matter what happens.  I am in control of my life and my feelings.  I am in control of my happiness.  I am finding courage and confidence once again, finally. And with this courage and confidence I am growing.

I am excited for my new journeys.  Life is truly a journey, not a destination.

Peaches and Cream

I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. I’ve been lucky enough to see John Butler Trio perform live twice…he seems to know what’s important in life and is an amazing song writer.  All I know is…I love you <3

I am learning that my cup is half full too…

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday…a great day

I had the most amazing Sunday 🙂  I went to church, had lunch with my dad, went to the gym, had a frozen yogurt and went to the park.  Tonight I am relaxing with the kitties.

Anna met me at church this morning.  The message today was extremely interesting to me because it was about something I am trying to figure out right now.  How to have the life experiences that I want to have in order to feel I am doing my part and to be more fulfilled.  In order to have these experiences we must focus and figure out what our mission is…which leads to action.  From action you gain experience.  “Mission moves you to action and action moves you to experience.”  I WANT to do something so much more with my life besides work to pay my bills.  I WANT to make a difference somehow.  I WANT to be valuable.  I WANT to help others somehow.  I have to figure out exactly what my mission is though…I am working on it.  It is burning inside of me.  I cannot sit still much longer.  I am ready to take action.  I am ready for the experience.

After church I had a great visit with my Dad.  We had lunch together at the nursing home and sat outside for an hour or so.  It was a nice day and we both dozed off enjoying the fresh air.  After my visit with Dad I met up with Anna once again at the gym.  I am feeling proud of myself for beginning to exercise again.  I ran 2 miles on the treadmill today and I plan to do the same tomorrow.  After a stop at the frozen yogurt shop and a drive through the park I am finally back home and getting ready for a new week.  It has definitely started off great so far.  In continuing with my Faith theme from yesterday, I am living one day at a time and I am letting God be in control.

This song is one of my favorites and has really been on my mind all day today…

Having Faith

I have had a good couple of days since my last entry.  Yesterday I made it to the gym and felt very accomplished afterwards.  I have not been myself the past couple of months and I KNOW exercise will help me.  I thank my friend Shan again for encouraging me to go.  I plan to keep it up.

Last night I met some friends at the movies…B and J.  They are a couple who invited me to come with them and that made me very happy 🙂 I have not spent much time with them lately due to my personal situation and it was good to see them and just have fun enjoying a movie.  They have been through a lot in the past year as well but I think they are figuring things out.  I am vague here because I purposely do not want to give details.  What I will say is that I know GOD has a plan for them…and me and for all of us.  Things might not seem to make sense but I have FAITH that everything will work out.  It means not dwelling on things…not obsessing over things I cannot change…not constantly thinking about my problems.  It means letting go and letting GOD take control of the situation.

I have several friends who are going through a difficult time right now.  Maybe everyone is going through something tough right now.  I have learned to realize that FAITH is what gets me through it.  I have so many unanswered questions right now but I am not stressing about them like I was before…and as a result I am finding some peace.  I am LIVING.  I am taking one day at a time.  And I trust that everything will be ok although I do not have all of the answers in front of me.

Hellooooo

Hello blog, I have neglected you this week! 🙂

I have had a busy week.  I actually worked on Labor Day (half day).  I spent Tuesday with my best childhood friend Steph because it was her birthday…we went out for Mexican food at lunch and then I ate dinner with her family at her house that evening.  Wednesday I met my friend Shan after work and we joined a gym!  We didn’t work out but hey, joining is a start right???  😉  Today I visited my Dad at the nursing home after work and that ALWAYS puts me in a good mood.  He is my inspiration.  He keeps his chin up although he cannot walk or get around by himself anymore.  It makes me realize that I need to be more thankful for my health and that although sometimes things seem bad…I AM ALIVE.  He is there for me for support as he has been throughout my life and for that I am truly thankful.  Tomorrow I am planning to work out with Shan and my other friend Anna will be joining us!  I am very excited about this.  I need to get in shape and lack motivation so it will help to have friends supporting me.

I am looking forward to the weekend.  I plan to spend some time outdoors.  I plan to work on my stories I am writing…I am entering some travel writing contests and I am really excited about that.  I have always enjoyed writing and I have a lot of experiences to share…something positive for me to focus on.

I feel like I am accomplishing more and more everyday.  Life does go on after setbacks.  I know I am not alone…God is on my side and for that I am thankful for today and everyday.

Finding peace and happiness

imageYesterday I woke up early and took a drive to the Shawnee National Forest in Southern Illinois.  This forest contains sandstone  rock formations which formed millions of years ago and this area is called Garden of the Gods.  I have been to this place several times.  It is always amazing to see the scenery there.  I found a lot of peace when I visited Japan last month and my heart and mind have been seeking more…I knew that the Garden of the Gods would be a perfect place to find that.  As I walked the trail I met a couple who had never been there and they were so amazed by it.  There were other people there…large groups, families with small children and older couples taking in the sights.  I took a lot of pictures but mostly I just enjoyed sitting and looking at the views.  It is really a beautiful place.

I have been on a journey to find myself again for a couple of months now.  I am coming out of a relationship where I am realizing after being out of it…that I was quite lost.  I had been following someone else’s dream and I had forgotten about my own dreams.  I had been neglecting myself.  It was my choice but with that choice I had become a bitter and extremely unhappy person.  I am doing more things now that I was “putting off” because I didn’t have time before.  Now I have all of the time in the world.  It is too bad I failed to see this sooner.  If I had focused on myself more instead of my relationship, my relationship might not have ended.  I am learning that when you love someone, you have to remember to love yourself first.  I am trying to do that now.  I have good days and I have bad days.  That is part of the healing process.

Today I went to church and visited my Dad at the nursing home. My friend met me at church and I was glad she came…this was her first visit.   Church is helping lift my spirit as well.  I have always been a believer but not quite sure I have always been a follower.  I have been trying to do things on my own and I am realizing now that is not working.  Something has to change.  I need to make some serious changes at this point in my life.  Instead of just thinking about how I need to live, I need to act on it.  To quote a message from Joel Osteen…I need to “always do the right thing even when nobody is watching.”  I believe I do that for the most part, but I can do a much better job.  I know that my experiences have happened to me for a reason…I have learned many lessons throughout my life.  But I am learning that I may not have handled things the way I should have at times.  I am not beating myself up about it.  I am not perfect and never will be.  I am just thankful that now I see what I need to do in order to find true peace and happiness.  Put God first in my life…and love myself.  Everything else will fall into place.  I have faith it will happen.